A Portal Through My Closet
by Fish of Felton
Summary: When four girls are swept away to middle earth through a portal in a closet, who knows what will happen, especially when Legolas is involved!
1. Default Chapter

A/N hey! This is our first collab story, and I hope that everyone likes it!!!! This chapter is by me, Ellen, and is in my pov.  
  
Hi! My name is Ellen, and I love lord of the rings. I am obsessed, and after much research I have finally found a way to middle earth. Through a portal in my closet. Weird, yes, but effective!  
  
I am going to leave tonight, Friday night, the day that winter break starts. This is a good time to leave because my parents and little sister are leaving for a vacation in Maine. I bowed out, and my mother finally agreed to let me stay here because I am 16.  
  
It is now 7:30. I had better leave presently. I walked to my bedroom. The closet door is already open. On the desk is a paragraph of words in Elvish. The trick is to read the paragraph and then walk toward the wall until you go through it. This is sort of a "platforn 9 ¾" philosophy.  
  
My backpack is on the bed. In it are food, blankets, a hairbrush, several hairgrips, and a number of outfits. There is also a copy of The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Simarilion, and a few other works of Tolkien.  
  
All right, I thought. Now or never.  
  
The wall is five feet away, four, and three.  
  
Well, I consoled myself; the worst that can happen is my nose could be squashed. Ouch.  
  
Slowly I read the paragraph, stumbling over the many consonants.  
  
Suddenly I heard a voice behind me.  
  
"Ellen, Liz and I have been looking for you. We were wondering if-"  
  
We were both swept away in a cyclone of mist.  
  
A/N gooooo mmmmessssshhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! (sorry, old joke. Mesh, for the odd people who don't understand my weird language). No flames please children! 


	2. Sodium Deprivation

Mesh POV  
  
------------  
  
My eyes wandered questioningly up to Elizabeth's.  
  
"Think she's okay?" Her forehead wrinkling as she shook the unconscious blonde girl on the hard floor.  
  
"Nah nothing to worry 'bout, just another lord of the rings over dose," a slow frown covered my face as i miserably sighed. "Your turn Lizzie!"  
  
"Yippee!" her brown eyes glowed as she tipped her plastic water bottle slowly over the elf-wanna-be's head, finally drenching her with sweet sticky lemonade. Ellen immediately shot up, menacingly.  
  
"You...."She spat.".... Are such a sped muffin! Your in luck my dear" here she paused and sighed dramatically "friend Leggie barrowed my precious bow and quiver!!!!!"  
  
"Goldfish are salty." Liz thoughtfully added. All morbid thoughts fled Ellen's head. For she was reminded of something very important.  
  
"Goldfish ARE salty..." A wicked grin spread across her fair face.  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh noooooo....lets run illegally across the border to and hid in a tom felton's fishermen's hut and pretend to be galley slaves so we wont have to endure Ellen's brilliant conclusion!!!!" I beckoned for Liz to escape out the wooden window with me.  
  
"SODIUM DEPRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!! I must go to Middle Earth and search for some salty elvish biscuits!" Ellen made forth to her closet.  
  
"Uuhhhhh biscuits aren't salty!" Liz reminded.  
  
"oh...right!" So here, in this very unfortunate town lies three very disturbed 16 year old girls in a house by themselves for 2 weeks. I sighed as i got up. Now this could be fun ; )  
  
----------  
  
Mental...yes! Neeeeedddd Chex mix! Sodium deprived!! And to all you other uneducated people if your sodium deprived it means your flesh'll rot and drip of your bones (just like in that french ghost story...lol!!!) So yea sacrifice high clorestoral risks, cuz we all cannot be sodium deprived!!! 


	3. ch 3

A/N oh funny mesh.. smiles sarcastically. I am not a wanna be!!!!  
  
"Children, I really mean it! We are going to go to middle earth! Liz," I said, giving orders, "get the gold fish. You are all coming whether you like it or not. A major benefit is that you will get to meet the product of hotness embodied, Legolas. A major.er, de-benefit.anyway.there aren't any. We can throw eggs at Arwen's window in Rivendell," I added temptingly.  
  
"Will there be Gold fish?" Liz questioned, interest in her brown eyes.  
  
"I bet Mariska will give you a whole crate-" as Mariska shook her head I continued. "On second thought, I will give you a whole crate if you will drag Mariska to the portal!"  
  
"Yay!!!!!"Yelled Liz happily.  
  
"Now Liz, you stay here and guard Mariska- don't let her escape, she thinks I'm insane.while I go to the store and get several crates of chex mix and Goldfish!"  
  
"'Kay!"  
  
I popped out of the door and soon returned struggling under two large crates of sodium enriched snack food.  
  
"Here we gooooo!!!!!" I yelled.  
  
I slowly read the paragraph of Elvish. All three of us made out way to the portal, me leading and Liz dragging Mesh behind.  
  
We were enveloped in silver mist and lost track of time.  
  
We woke to the sound of a roaring waterfall. I sat up and glanced around. We were lying in a grassy field. My stuff and the two crates of sodium enriched snack food were lying nearby. Mariska and Liz were still unconscious, sprawled on the grass.  
  
Heh heh heh, I thought. Here was a chance for some fun.  
  
I started pulling up handfuls of grass and dirt and piling them on my "friends". They soon spluttered awake, and promptly started yelling at me.  
  
"Ellen, you are such a freak!" Mariska yelled.  
  
"You are, you mental sped-and-a-half!" responded Liz.  
  
"Ooh, naughty, naughty, Ellen's friends shouldn't be getting mad at Ellen, especially when they have never been to middle earth before, and she has! Ellen thinks they should be nice to her, especially if they want to get to Rivendell safely!" I said, grinning wickedly." Do come on. Legolas said that he would be here until sundown, and I want to persuade him to stay longer."  
  
"Ooh, Ellen and Legolas, sittin' in a tree-" chanted liz.  
  
I snorted. "Not until we go to Mirkwood, anyway."  
  
Mariska said nothing. She was still silently fuming and trying to shake dirt clods out of her hair.  
  
"where are we anyway?" said Liz.  
  
"I would suppose that we are approximately a quarter of a mile from the fords of Bruinen. When we reach there we can easily ford the river. Or I could just whistle for Legolas to come and pick us up." I added smugly. "On his pure white stallion, with his golden hair streaming."  
  
I was cut off from my fantasy by Mariska, who protesting said, "a quarter of a mile? Noooooo track, its winter break! I don't have to run the ¼ mile 'till June, I don't have to run the ¼ mile 'till June, I don't have-" she repeated, closing her eyes.  
  
"I never said that you had to run it." I replied arrogantly. "I was planning on walking. Very fast though, or we'll miss Legolas, and I really don't want to go on another high-speed horseback riding chase. We could just leave you, if you really didn't want to go anywhere."  
  
I set off at a fast walk, Mariska and liz following.  
  
We walked through the reat of the field and a small band of woods and came to the fords.  
  
"c'mon, children!" I gave out an earsplitting whistle. A white horse cantered out of the brush on the other side, dragging his unfortunate elf- rider.  
  
"Galon! And Legolas!!!!" I yelled across the river. The rider of the horse raised his hand in a salute and a smile broke over his serious face. The horse nickered and quickened his pace, splashing through the waterway.  
  
"Oh, by the way," I added to my awestruck friends standing behind me, "my name here is Lady Galad Olwë. I think, however, as you are my friends, you might be permitted to only call me only 'lady galad'." They looked dumbfounded. "Just kidding!" I added. "Call me anything. Preferably my name, but what ever."  
  
Legolas and Galon had reached the side of the river.  
  
"Galad!" legolas shouted in delight. "You've come! You forgot your bow! I was hoping that you would come before I had to leave for Mirkwood-" I was swept up onto the horse and into a tight hug.  
  
"Legolas, these are my friends, Liz and Mariska. They came with me through the portal. Can they come on out trip to Mirkwood?"  
  
"But of course!" he said. I smiled. Always the gentleman. "I wanted to tell you, Galad, I am staying in Rivendell for the next week."  
  
"Hooray! More fun for us! Umm, by the way, Legolas, do you think we could get going? We have to cart all of out sodium-enriched foods back to Rivendell, and our arms are getting tired. Except for my bow arm, of course," I added as an afterthought.  
  
"Of course. Let's go."  
  
He swung down from Galon and helped me down as well. We soon had the crates of snack food on the horse too, and set off across the river.  
  
We soon reached rivendell. You know in the movie, how Rivendell is an a little valley, and is all golden light and leafy trees? In real life it is even better. There are elves everywhere, all singing or laughing. The trees are perfect, leafy and green and lovely. The light really is gold, and reflects off the water and the bronze cliffs. The architecture is all celtic styled, and there are ivy tendrils curling on the windows and walls.  
  
Elrond met us. He welcomed my friends and me and showed us to where we would sleep.  
  
Legolas invited us to explore the surrounding lannd and everyone accepted.  
  
  
  
Where shall we go mesh? I leave it up to you. And we really are in middle earth!!!!!!!!!it is 10:08, and my parents don't know I'm awake g2g. 


	4. So Pinch Me

I squinted as I look up into the ancient, bright sun.  
  
"Hey elfy, can you do me a favor?" I tapped the tall, blonde elf. "So you're saying we are in Rivendell as in Lord of the Rings Rivendell?"  
  
"Lord of the what?" He calmly repeated.  
  
"Pinch me!" I sighed, looking about this new yet so familiar place.  
  
"Why would I do such a thing?!" Then Ellen grabbed him and whispered something in  
  
his ear, he returned strange looks at Liz and myself.  
  
"Hey! Did you knock me out after I spilled lemonade on you?" Liz stared accusingly. "Am I dead? Dead! I'm dead¦ when you're dead can you have goldfish?"  
  
"No you imbec---"Ellen fumed. "I mean of coooouuuursse not, there REALLY is a portal¦."  
  
"Don't go on! .Its a nice dream so far!!"  
  
We made our way to the across the dark calm forest surrounding Rivendell. The tall dark  
  
trees loomed anciently in a circle shape to the left, blinding light surrounding the inside  
  
of the circle.  
  
"Tisn't the time to go to the hallow." Our tour guide responded.  
  
Ellen.I mean *ahem* Galad hung sickly sweet onto the rather silent Elf's  
  
every word. Quite sickening really, so sickening that I might just have to sneak back to  
  
investigate that secret place. 


	5. ch 5

A/N, by me, Ellen, but in mesh's PoV  
  
"Umm, Ellen?" I said timidly. "Would you mind if I went to take a closer look at that birds nest we saw a few minutes ago?" Heh heh heh, bird's nest, my foot. I thought. Oh well, She is so wrapped up in her elf dude she won't notice anything.  
  
"Of course." she replied dreamily. "Just catch us up later."  
  
"Of course." I repeated sweetly. I had no intention of doing that. I wanted to see about that forest. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Back to Planet Earth! *^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*  
  
Jen walked into the small Victorian mansion perched upon the hill.  
  
"Hey mesh, Bloomie! You here?"  
  
She wandered through the kitchen, hazel-brown eyes searching for a sign of her friends. Jen walked into the parlor, looking in old-fashioned armchairs and on the grand piano bench. No one was there.  
  
She mounted the stairs, feet treading the thick carpet.  
  
"You guys- is anyone here? Liz, Mesh, Ellen? Bloomie, you here?" she said, peeking into bedrooms off the hall. Finally she came to the last bedroom. She walked inside, looking for the occupants. On the desk were a large pile of books, a glass of water- and a piece of paper with a section written in a strange language. She read it aloud, disbelievingly.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
She saw the closet, and, suspecting her friends were about to pop out of it she walked slowly toward it. No one was there.  
  
She touched the walls, pushing at them with her fingers. Abruptly, tendrils of pale fog twined around them and pulled her toward the wall.  
  
*^*^*^^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Back to middle earth! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ "Yeeeeeeeeekkk!!!!!" I heard a scream from the meadow. "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!"  
  
I ran toward it, abandoning thoughts of investigating the forest.  
  
In the middle of the meadow there sat a tall-very tall- girl with curly dark brown hair.  
  
"Jen!" I yelled, running toward her.  
  
"Mesh! What are you doing here? And for that matter, what am I doing here? And for that matter, where is here?" she said in panic.  
  
"Well, the answer to you first question is- the idiot Ellen decided that we needed to meet her boyfriend, and dragged us through a portal in her closet. The answer to your second question is, I would guess, you found a paragraph of words in a strange language on Ellen's desk and you read it. Correct?" at her nod I continued. "And last, we are in Middle earth. About a quarter of a mile from the fords of Bruinen, to be exact. The fords of Bruinen are the entrance to Rivendell, by the way."  
  
"Did- did you just say that we were in Rivendell? Like the place in that mental movie, Fellowship of the ring, with the manky elf dude?"  
  
"That would be the one." I clarified.  
  
"Ellen has a boyfriend?" I could understand her surprise. Out of all of us, Ellen was the only one who refused to go out with anyone at our school.  
  
"Indeed she does. A prince, actually."  
  
"Dude! A prince? Who? And of what country!"  
  
"Welllll."I said, hesitating. "It's actually someone she has liked for an awfully long time.since the fellowship of the ring,actually."  
  
"WHO???" "remember that nickname that you mde up in 8th grade? After Orlando Bloom?"  
  
"Bloomie? Yeah, of course I remember. I still call her that. Who is it?"  
  
"Ummm, I'm guessing that you won't now him."I said unwillingly. I didn't think Jen would react to her friend-since-preschool having an elf prince for a boy friend.  
  
"MARISKA, I'M WARNING YOU, TELL ME WHO ELLEN IS GOING OUT WITH BEFORE I HURT YOU."  
  
I sighed. "His name is Legolas Greenleaf, and his father Thranduil is the king of Mirkwood. Did I mention that he is an Elf?"  
  
"An Elf?" Jen squealed. "You know that there are no such things as elves, right?"  
  
I sighed again. This was going to take some explaining.  
  
"I'll tell you in on the way, but we have to get moving," I said, noticing the sun setting. "I promised Ellen that we- well, that I would catch her up before long. I'll tell you on the way."  
  
"Okay."Jen replied disbelievingly.  
  
We set off walking toward where I had come from.  
  
"Okay...well.I am not sure when Ellen started coming to middle earth, but sometime in the not-too-distant past she found a portal in her closet to that meadow that we were in. She met Legolas, and.well, I don't know about that, you'll have to ask her yourself.but anyway, they met, fell in love, and Ellen has been coming to middle earth ever since. Today, she decided that we should meet her boyfriend and abducted us to middle earth. Legolas was giving us a tour of the surrounding lands of Rivendell when I snuck off. That's about it, and there's Ellen!"  
  
Ellen, Legolas and Liz had reappeared, Liz looking immensely bored and Ellen and Legolas walking arm and arm. Upon seeing us Ellen dropped the elf's arm and came running.  
  
"Jen! Jen! What the hecky are you doing here?"  
  
"I was about to ask you the same question: what the hecky am I doing here?"  
  
"Did you read a paragraph of words in a strange language of a piece of paper on my desk?"  
  
"Well, I did, actually. Who is that hot blond dude?"  
  
Trust Jen, I thought. Stranded in a strange land in a settlement of scary people with pointy ears, and all she thinks about is boys. Hark back to the days of high school.  
  
"You stay away from my hot elf dude," Ellen replied, her eyes narrowing, "he is entirely mine. Not yours. Mine. Stay away. As far away as possible."  
  
"Hi," Jen said shyly to Legolas. Ellen's eyes narrowed to slits.  
  
"Good evening, milady. May I ask your name?" Legolas said, not looking more than moderately interested.  
  
"It's Jen." She replied.  
  
God, I thought. He is one faithful boyfriend.  
  
"Pleasant to meet you. I suggest we hurry back to Imladris, the sun is setting."  
  
"Shall I call Galon?" Ellen asked.  
  
"Yes," said Legolas. "He'll round up a few more horses so the ladies won't have to get their feet wet."  
  
Ellen gave off another earsplitting whistle. A pounding of hooves followed it. Four horses came into view, one white, one black, and two brown.  
  
"Guess we'll just have to share." Ellen said, not looking in the least disappointed. She bounded to the white, who was obviously the best horse among the four, his coat gleaming in the evening sunlight.  
  
"C'mon Legolas. We can share Galon."  
  
It took a while, but finally we were all mounted on various horses. We continued toward the fords, Ellen leaning against Legolas's chest.  
  
And how was that? Good, I hope. No flames, please! Go mesh! *Tags Mariska* you're it! 


	6. Return of the Salt

~mEsH~  
  
  
  
::Jens point of View::  
  
  
  
I grinned. "Liz...so your sure he wont dump her ...for uh...lets say..someone tall...with  
  
uh maybe curley brown hair and uh...." she shoved me. Leggie-las....leggie lass."hee  
  
hee hee!"  
  
  
  
"So gee, are we going to be walking on forever and ever?!! Where IS this im- il-lad-as  
  
place?!!!!!!!!!" Liz threw the hard stale biscotti from her pocket at Ellens elf head  
  
  
  
:: at the entry of Imladris, Ellen pov::  
  
"ehhee are there any cute boys in Imlaa-ladreessss?" Jen giggled. hopping along to  
  
the gates of the city.   
  
  
  
"JENNNNNN!! i was...erck!" URG! This wasnt turning out too well...not well at all.  
  
Everyones acting like fruitcakes and i cant even properly smack them on their heads,  
  
for my Legolas dear ::sighs deeply:: is right besides me!  
  
"SALTY SARDINES!" the most brilliant or brilliant ideas came to me...!  
  
"Salt?! As in..." Liz's face lit up. "Goldfish Salt?!"  
  
"Nooooo you din----"I cought myself, and cackled whilst grinning evilly. "I just wanted to tell Jen I've found the perfect match." 


	7. ch 7

A/N me again! Ellen, the elf. In my pov, btw.  
  
Legolas and I led the way to Imladris with the rest of our party following. We had just passed the gates when I was besieged by several small, curly haired boys- hobbits, four of them.  
  
"So she's returned, Legolas." One of them said teasingly. "You must be happy."  
  
"Sam, you idiot." I said, cuffing him-a little too hard, it turned out; he fell off the cliff on which we were standing and splashed into the water below. He surfaced, spluttering, and his expression turned from one of laughter to awe. I looked to see what he was staring at- Jen! The single tallest person in our grade had a hobbit with a crush on her! Stifling a snigger, I looked at Mariska. She too was staring at someone, Liz, who was looking at the wet hobbit with an expression mirroring his own as he looked at Jen.  
  
I abandoned all thoughts of scary, bi-species love triangles as a hobbit- Pippin- whispered in my ear.  
  
"He really missed you, you know. For a week all he has been doing is wandering around with Galon in the forest." As an afterthought he added, "Can we throw eggs at Arwen's window tonight?"  
  
"Of course!" I responded, grinning. Trust Pippin. "Maybe we can even get Legolas to help."  
  
We continued down the path, my friends still looking at each other oddly.  
  
"Do come on," I said. "Legolas said there was going to be a banquet tonight. We don't want to be late."  
  
It actually took less time than I expected to get my friends ready to go. Everyone besides me and Mariska looked stupefied, each thinking of a certain curly-haired, gardening hobbit.  
  
The banquet, as usual, was gorgeous. I could tell that my friends were amazed. I was too, but hid it better than they did. I had been to one before, but this was even grander. Elves were constantly singing and talking.  
  
It passed uneventfully, until about halfway through Elrond asked me to sing a song for them. "It was the price that travelers pay" he said. "All had to sing a song."  
  
What to sing, what to sing? My mind whirred uselessly past Christmas carols, TV ads, and finally settled on an American folksong I had sung in eighth grade. The water is wide. I had always liked it, but wasn't sure if the elves would.  
  
"The water is wide..."I sang unsurely. The room grew silent. "I cannot get o'er.. And neither have I wings to fly." My voice adjusted, filling the room. "Give me a boat..that can carry two.." The song was over quickly. That was another thing I liked. It was short. I collapsed into my seat next to Legolas. The Elves applauded and went back to their meals.  
  
A/N so what about some egg-throwin', mesh? It is up to you! 


	8. Good ol' human Fun

|MEsh PoV | | | | | | | | | |"So," my eyes lit up. "Its nice here, really, but all we've done is | |walk and eat..."Jen got up from the | | | |table. | | | | | |"So we've come to the conclusion----"Liz prompted quickly jumping up | |from the eeeevvvill table that | | | |held no sodium jammed salty ickle fish shaped crackers (how dare | |they!!!). | | | | | |"SO WHO'S UP FOR EGGING ARWEN'S CRIB?" I grinned, but silence | |replaced the cheers we were | | | |waiting for. We waited, waited and paused 'nother moment to wait. I | |shrugged. "Well c'mon mates lets | | | |go...HEEHHEHE!!!!" | | | | | |The very confused hobbits and elves went along to because, | |hobbits---like we all know love gardening | | | |and in a very twisted form, egging is gardening, because the eggs | |drip from the walls into the dirt | | | |below. And the elves, well lets just say the Goldfish Liz offered | |affected them in a very *interesting* | | | |way. | | | | | |SPLAT!!! went one glorious round white egg....smack dab on her | |window....score!!! ; ) After a few | | | |times erm *demonstrating* our talent, everyone else seemed to get | |into the spirit. 'cept miss. I love | | | |aragorn, elf princesses just don't know how to have fun do they?! | | | | | |Suddenly i felt a cold traumatizing presence behind me, and i | |screamed in horror................. | | | | | | | | | |__________________ | | | |He wuz an Elf....she wuz a princess....he had big ears that took up | |all of space....eheheh! Dont kill me | |Bloomie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!| |!!! ::continues singing:: He wuz a skater elf...naaaa naaa nnaaaa!!! | 


	9. ch 9

A/N that chapter..nearly killed me! *Collapses in a fit of giggles*. Is it possible to die from laughter???  
  
This is in my pov (Ellen's) and is written by yours truly, ELLEN THE ELF!  
  
Mariska paused, a huge egg clasped in her hand. She seemed to have frozen solid. I looked behind her. Nothing was there. I let fly my next egg. It smashed gloriously on Arwen's huge, paned window. I heard a scream from inside and laughed. I beckoned to the scary, dancing elves and the gleefully laughing hobbits. We all hid behind a bush. Mariska finally came out of her trance and threw her egg, just as the window opened! The huge, celebrated egg smashed directly on miss "I-love-the-Dunedain-so-I- gave-him-my pretty-pendant". It also splattered all over the face of the man standing half-dressed behind her- the one and only Dunedain!  
  
The hobbits nearly collapsed in laughter, except for Sam, who was staring raptly at Jen. The elves too, were acting very strangely. Legolas was flapping his hands like wings and screaming random phrases in sindarin.  
  
We all ran for our sleeping quarters, the hobbits having a hard time keeping up because of their height.  
  
"Dude, I'm bored." Said Jen after a few minutes of sitting in silence (yes, Legolas was outside, still screaming)."I want to do something"  
  
"Hey, I know!!!!!" I said, having come to a brilliant conclusion. "Lets sing sk8er elf!!" Mariska and Liz groaned, having listened to me sing my parody of Avril's song since eighth grade.  
  
"He was an elf, she was a princess...can I make this any more obvious?" I sang at the top of my lungs, making guitar motions with my hands. "He was an archer, she did fencing. What more can I say? He wanted her, she'd never tell. Secretly she wanted him as well. All of her friends stuck up their nose. They had a problem with his bows. He was a sk8er elf, she said cya later elf, he wasn't good enough for her. She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space. She needs to come back down to middle earth... Five days from now, she sits at home, feedin' the hobbit, she's all alone. Looks in the palantir, guess who she sees? Sk8er elf rockin' up helm's deep. She runs to her friends, they already know, and they've all got horses ready to go. She tags along, stands on the wall, looks down at the man she turned down. he was a sk8er elf, she said cya later elf.." by the end of the song I had all of the hobbits dancing, Sam inching ever closer to Jen and Liz to Sam.  
  
"What can we sing now???" said Pippin.  
  
"What about lady marmalade?" said Mariska.  
  
"Do you really think that is appropriate for young hobbits?" I said.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Mariska said reproachfully "they're older than you, you know."  
  
"Oh fine."  
  
We started singing, probably scaring all of the peaceful elves out of their wits.  
  
Finally all of us had collapsed, after singing sk8er elf twice, lady marmalade, jumpin' jumpin' and booty-licious, middle earth style, of course. The hobbits were on the floor; Sam curled at Jen's feet. Legolas had finally come in and was lying sprawled on the bed. The four of us were still halfheartedly singing...until we finally petered off to silence and sleep.  
  
About two hours later we had cleared all of the middle-earth dwellers out of our bedroom. We were just falling asleep when we were awakened by a horrible noise outside on the terrace. It sounded something like a marmoset and a dog trying to sing a duet of Jingle Bells.  
  
"Gahhahhhhhh.." Liz said sleepily.  
  
The dissonance continued, progressing through "to bottle I go" and several other tunes to horrible to go into detail about. Seeing it was not going to stop, I looked around the room for and item to throw. Hmmm, a small table, my toothbrush...ahh, a pitchfork. What it was doing here I didn't have a clue, but for my purposes it would do.  
  
Mariska noticed me carrying the long pointy object and chuckled diabolically. She had seen me mad at people before, and knew the results. I walked quietly to the wide window, tensing to throw. I looked around, tensing to throw. My eyes settled on a small form holding a bouquet of flowers- a hobbit! Sam, by the sound of it, he had always liked to sing better than the others.  
  
"Sam, you little freak, quit serenading Jen and go back to bed before I throw this at you!" I yelled, once again scaring the peaceful elves out of their wits.  
  
He didn't stop, to say the least. I swung out of the window with practiced grace (I had done this before on previous visits, usually escaping to meet Legolas.). Baring the pitchfork before me, I walked toward him. Finally noticing that I was serious he fled, squealing like a pig. I chased him out of the courtyard and over the bridge, laughing evilly.  
  
A/N none of those songs are mine.. blablabla... you know the deal. Mesh is going away for Christmas, and so you probably won't get another chapter until she comes back. To here the full version of sk8er elf please email me! I wrote it after I saw the premier of the two towers-yanno that scene in helm's deep where he takes a shield and goes down the stairs on it??? That just sparked my imagination! 


End file.
